Forgive and be Forgiven - The Only Way to Go

There is no place for unforgiveness in the body of Christ. It is possibly the greatest barrier to God. More than anything, from it, it causes resentment, bitterness and for those on the receiving end rejection. It is our pride and our self will that so often causes unforgiveness, our pride because we often don’t know how to admit we are wrong and our self will because in the end we have a choice to choose what would be right or what is wrong to do. But God has made it very clear in his Word how we should act towards those who hurt us.

It has been said that love is the greatest power in the universe. Love conquers, love never fails.
It’s also said that a lack of love causes a physical or mental sickness. A dis-ease with self and with others.

So why is forgiving others so important?

The parable of the Unmerciful Servant. Matthew 18:21-35

Forgiving always. Vs 21-22
Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?”Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.’

Unlimited Forgiveness.

Unforgiveness brings anger

Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbour, for we are all members of one body. “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.
Ephesians 4:25-27

Kingdom of Heaven. Vs 23-25
Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand talents was brought to him. Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.

God calls us all to settle accounts.
We were lost. He challenged our hearts. The call to repentance is upon all, as an acknowledgement of sin and the need for forgiveness.We become children of God through our repentant heart, acknowledging that Jesus Christ is our Lord and Saviour who bore our sins on the cross in place of us all.

He himself bore our sins in his body on the tree, so that we might die to sins and live for righteousness; by his wounds you have been healed.
1 Peter 2:24

Call for Mercy. Vs 26-27
“The servant fell on his knees before him. ‘Be patient with me,’ he begged, ‘and I will pay back everything.’ The servant’s master took pity on him, cancelled the debt and let him go.

Sin recognised, call for mercy. Recognise anything?
God’s, Grace and Mercy. Always ready to forgive.

Unforgiveness. Vs 28-31
But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow-servants who owed him a hundred denarii. He grabbed him and began to choke him. ‘Pay back what you owe me?’ he demanded.“His fellow-servant fell to his knees and begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay you back.’“But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. When the other servants saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed and went and told their master everything that had happened.

Love for Enemies
“But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who ill-treat you.
Luke 6:27-28

But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.
Matthew 5:44

100 Denarii (a few pounds) less than 10,000 Talents (millions of pounds)

Forgiveness for the Sinner

If anyone has caused grief, he has not so much grieved me as he has grieved all of you, to some extent – not to put it too severely. The punishment inflicted on him by the majority is sufficient for him. Now instead, you ought to forgive and comfort him, so that he will not be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow. I urge you, therefore, to reaffirm your love for him. The reason I wrote to you was to see if you would stand the test and be obedient in everything. If you forgive anyone, I also forgive him. And what I have forgiven – if there was anything to forgive – I have forgiven in the sight of Christ for your sake, in order that Satan might not outwit us. For we are not unaware of his schemes.

2 Corinthians 2:5-1

It has to be said, that it’s possible to imprison those you hold in unforgiveness.

Consequences of Unforgiveness. Vs 32-33

“Then the master called the servant in. You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I cancelled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow-servant just as I had on you?

For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

Matthew 6:14-15

Barrier in Prayer
And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.
Mark 11:25

Importance of forgiveness
It’s simple. If Jesus can forgive all that we have done, what right have we to be any different?

Torment. V 34

In anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.

(Anger, Guilt, Depression, Locked in prison of unforgiveness)

Bitterness

See to it that no-one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.

Hebrews 12:15

Grieving the Spirit
Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

Ephesians 4:29-32

Forgiveness from the Heart. V 35

“This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart.”

Warning or Promise

Accept One
Another Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.

Romans 15:7

Forgive One Another
Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

Ephesians 4:32

Do Not Judge
Do not judge and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.
Luke 6:37

What Happened?

We forget all fall short of the Glory of God. - Romans 3:23

The women caught in adultery found no condemnation before the people when asked by Jesus,
“If anyone of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.”
John 8:1-11

A Brother Who Sins Against You and the Church
“If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses. If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.

“I tell you the truth, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.

Again, I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven. For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them.”
Matthew 18:15-20

The Roman ArmyThe Roman army have captive many prisoners from many armies. These armies all decide to go out to conquer the Roman army and release the captives. Each army dislikes the others. They all happen to meet up on the same battlefield. Instead of fighting the army of Rome they begin fighting each other. The Roman army watch happily while their enemies do what they were to do and they didn’t have to lift a finger. The armies were all supposed to have the same goal yet were not able to succeed for they were too busy fighting each other.

Our enemy is Satan and his army. A way we can be blind and deaf to God’s work is by being too busy fighting each other. When we do this who do we think is laughing? God’s will is not for us to fight each other, while we do that those who need us but more so need God, get ignored. Our real goal is not achieved. We remain never achieving our full potential in God and the people in need remain captives to our real enemy.

Kingdom Divided
If a kingdom is divided against itself, that kingdom cannot stand. If a house is divided against itself, that house cannot stand.
Mark 3:24-26

Sometimes it’s that We need to Forgive Ourselves!

What If God…?

a) Were as selective in forgiving as you are.

b) Took His time so you could suffer.

c) Told everybody who’d listen what you’ve done to Him.

d) Forgave, but refused to give you another chance.

e) Made up His mind to distance and avoid you.

f) Next time you were in trouble, refused to help you saying, ‘Huh, it couldn’t have happened to a nicer person.’

Could you live with that? NO!

Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

Ephesians 4:32

Choosing What Is Better

As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, “Lord don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!” “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”
Luke 10:38-42

It is said that something is not biblical and yet that is the way we are, it could be wrong and yet that is what we do. Why on acknowledging something wrong do we still expect it? Should we not rather say, it is wrong so let’s not do it but trust instead in the Lord and what He says?

There are laws that can not be broken, that even God expects us to follow, for we are in the world. (Matthew 17:24-27, 22:15-21). But also there are ways, not law but brought about by people’s mistrust or people’s endeavour to control, when we should say, “No, God does not do things that way.” Should we say, “No,” to God’s Way?

We fill our lives with doing, we push God into a corner, too busy to hear what He has or wants. Like Martha we to can question people who want to follow God’s way rather than be dictated to by what is expected in the world, making them to be super spiritual people, instead of seeing that there is a choice made, a closeness with God, a call to His side that out weighs everything else.

In scripture God says towards Himself:
Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.”
Mark 12:30

He asks to come first, it being the Greatest Commandment.

He follows with the second commandment:
Love your neighbour as yourself.”
Mark 12:31

There is no greater commandment than these.

He continues further on, concerning “LOVE,” He says:
Love is patient, love is kind, it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Throughout scripture He teaches of a Self-less love:
Accept one another – Romans 15:7
Forgive one another – Ephesians 4:32
Love one another – John 13:34
Bear one another’s burdens – Galatians 6:2
Teach and admonish one another – Colossians 3:16
Esteeming one another as more important – Philippians 2:3
Serving one another – 1 Peter 4:10

Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.
1 John 3:18

The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love.
Galatians 5:6

He asks us to share all things:
No favouritism but to care for all people – James 2:1-8
Do good and to share with others – 1 Timothy 6:18, Hebrews 13:16

He asks that:
If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus.
Philippians 2:1-5

Change our attitudes:
Unfortunately today God and the bible are not recognised by many people, yet the answers to life’s problems can be sorted if only people would turn to Him. Many of the scriptures quoted are towards His people and how we should act towards each other, but are these not attitudes that we all should look to take on board? In the last scripture it speaks of being united with Christ. As hard as it seems God is alive and He has given us a way to know Him. Scripture reads, “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” (John 3:16) Unfortunately I may not be able to convince you of God and His Son Jesus, (Although I hope) but surely no one can deny the morals and attitudes in the Bible are what love is. Whether it’s our family, towards our partners in marriage, our children, our schools, even our workplaces, and I must say even the church, these would be much happier places if we ALL show some self-less love in our lives, considering others as we would each want to be considered.

Finally but as Important:
But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.
Matthew 6:33

Seeking the things of the Spirit, the way of the Spirit and living in the righteousness of Jesus and your needs, your giftings and your ministries will come into place as well. For God knows all that you need and what He has purposed for you.

Follow the Fathers Will:
Your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven.
Matthew 6:10

In the Attitude of Christ:
Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus.
Philippians 2:5

In the Way of the Spirit:
But when he, the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all truth.
John 16:13

“In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven.”
Matthew 5:16

Sharing – Sowing Generously

Remember this: Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously. Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to make all grace abound to you, so that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work. As it is written:

“He has scattered abroad his gifts to the poor; his righteousness endures for ever.”

Now he who supplies seed to the sower and bread for food will also supply and increase your store of seed and will enlarge the harvest of your righteousness. You will be made rich in every way so that you can be generous on every occasion, and through us your generosity will result in thanksgiving to God.

This service that you perform is not only supplying the needs of God’s people but is also overflowing in many expressions of thanks to God. Because of the service by which you have proved yourselves, men will praise God for the obedience that accompanies your confession of the gospel of Christ, and for your generosity in sharing with them and with everyone else. And in their prayers for you their hearts will go out to you, because of the surpassing grace God has given you. Thanks be to god for his indescribable gifts!
2 Corinthians 9:6-15

God shares His creation with man:

Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.”
Genesis 1:26

Children of God, suffering and His Glory:

For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by him we cry, “Abba, Father.” The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs – heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.
Romans 8:15-17

But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praise of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. Once you were not a people, but now you are the people of God; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy.
1 Peter 2:9-10

Sharing your Faith and being active in it:

I pray that you may be active in sharing your faith, so that you will have a full understanding of every good thing we have in Christ.

Philemon :6

Sharing all things, good deeds, possessions:

Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share.

1 Timothy 6:18

And do not forget to do good and to share with others, for with such sacrifices God is pleased. Hebrews 13:16

They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. Everyone was filled with awe, and many wonders and miraculous signs were done by the apostles. All the believers were together and had everything in common. Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need. Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favour of all the people. And the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved.

Acts 2:42-47

All the believers were one in heart and mind. No-one claimed that any of his possessions was his own, but they shared everything they had. With great power the apostles continued to testify to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus, and much grace was upon them all. There were no needy person among them. For from time to time those who owned lands or houses sold them, brought the money from the sales and put it at the apostles’ feet, and it was distributed to anyone as he had need.

Acts 4:32-35

Greatest sharing, God’s Love:

If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others. Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus.

Philippians 2:1-5

Sharing is of God, sharing all
It’s not easy
But should we say no?
God’s word says,
To do good, to be rich
In good deeds and
To be generous and willing to
Share.

God gives to us as to
Share with others
All His gifts for the benefit
Of giving to others
Our skills, our interests,
Our possessions, our love
The greatest of all gifts.
All for giving, all for sharing.
In love you give all
To God, to others
Should we say no?

A family shares all.
If it’s what we’d do for our family
Would not God want it for
His Family?
For God created all things
Including our love.
Should we say no?

Faith and Deeds:
What good is it, my brothers, if a man claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save him? Suppose a brother or sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to him, “Go, I wish you well; keep warm and well fed, “ but does nothing about his physical needs, what good is it? In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.

But someone will say, “You have faith; I have deeds.”

Show me your faith without deeds, and I will show you my faith by what I do. You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that – and shudder.

James 2:14-19

You will be made rich in every way so that you can be generous on every occasion, and through us your generosity will result in thanksgiving to God.
2 Corinthians 9:11

The Vulnerability of Love

I have four children, three of whom I adopted when I married being from my wife’s first marriage. This in some way is a conversation made into a poem, I had with my son one day when he asked a question, “Why are you sad?”

Adoption is a choice.

It says, “I Chose You.”

“I Love You.”

When asked, “Why are you sad?”

I explain how discipline can be hard.

With many tears, a hug and love is asked,

From a promise God kept, a gift He gave,

My child that means so much to me.

With a heart torn apart, my decision to make.

To give, and my child learns without honour.

Or

To with-hold, and my child grows with honour,

Although a struggle, a lesson is learnt.

At the end, love is received.

That hug, that warmth.

A reminder, to my child,“I am loved, I am cherished.

My Dad cares so much for me.”

I then explain,

“My Son, what you feel, only for a short time,

I feel most of the time.

When those I chose, ignore, reject.

A stranger I feel, alone in this place.

No love, no embrace.

A nobody who chose to love,

My worth stolen by memories that remind me and say,

‘I am Human, I make mistakes. I am not Perfect.’”

I suppose you have to ask the question why love? When you do you make yourself vulnerable to being hurt again and again. But I remember hearing these words once:

It takes a lot of courage to stand naked without any armour for protection, to open up your arms to another human being and say, “I Love You.” That’s as vulnerable as you’ll ever be in this world, but it’s worth it.

From that time as well as knowing the scriptures on what God asks of us as to Love Him with all our hearts and with our souls and with all our minds and with all our strength and as well love each other the same, I made that decision to follow the way of love. I made that decision to love as I would hope to be loved. If I do wrong I would wish to be forgiven, so if someone does wrong to me I too must forgive for we all make mistakes and no one is perfect. Loving isn’t easy when it seems that it’s only one way, it’s so easy to run away, to hide, to close off and put those barriers up that say, “don’t touch me, keep your distance, I don’t want to be hurt again.” But in the end should we say no, should we run? Discipline is hard, God’s discipline is even harder to understand when you’re going through it, Why does God allow something?

David Watson in his book – Discipleship writes:

God is a God of peace; but Satan can play on our weaknesses so that we become peace-lovers rather than peace-makers. We avoid conflict; we fail to resolve tensions in relationships; we allow sin to continue within the fellowship without being challenged; we agree with all points of view in a muddy ecumenism instead of clear unity in Christ. Christ the Bridegroom looks for moral and doctrinal purity in his bride, the church. In his word he tells us to ‘speak the truth in love’ so that we can grow up in every way into him. He knows that we are not perfect: we will all make mistakes, and we do not yet see things clearly. But as we sort out our relationships with honesty, love and forgiveness, so the God of true peace will be with us.

We are called, as disciples of Christ to share our lives together, and, if need be, our possessions together. We are to open our hearts to one another, take off our masks, become real and honest. And when fellowships of Christians try seriously to do this in the power of the Holy Spirit, they will soon discover two things. First, they will find deep and loving relationships as brothers and sisters in Christ, and this can prove enormously enriching and fulfilling. But second, they will also find pain, since we are still angular and sinful persons who, huddling together for warmth, hurt and jab one another. The temptation then will be to separate, to pull back to a safe and less painful distance, to erect little barriers, and to protect ourselves from those vulnerable deep relationships where we are likely to get hurt again and again. In so doing, we shall destroy, or at least greatly weaken, the love and unity that Christ commanded, prayed for, died for, and sent his Spirit to accomplish. In seeking to evade this particular cost of discipleship, we have denied our master and grieved his Spirit. Had Jesus pulled back from his own disciples when they hurt him, the Christian church would never have been born.

Maybe this is your prayer, we all need, and God’s Love will never fail:

Why does love fail?

Why do people hurt each other?

We say we love but so easily we turn away.

We say we love to share but when it’s asked for

What happens?

Why do we stop loving when things get hard?

Why must we allow wrong thoughts to destroy love,

When all that is needed is for love to be seen,

That love to be felt instead of those thoughts to

Carry on as though the truth.

Why do people allow someone to suffer hurt through

Untruth rather than go and reaffirm love?

Why is it so hard for those words,

"I Love You,”

And that love to be given?

Lord examine our love and change us.

Father, Your Love never fails.

Give us that Love.

Amen.

The Scriptures say it all:

Love is patient, love is kind, it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.
1 Corinthians 13:4-8

Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.
1 John 3:18

Let the Walls Come Down, It’s time to stop running, and let Love Come In.

How Do You See Others?

Once you were alienated from God and were enemies in your minds because of your evil behaviour. But now he has reconciled you by Christ's physical body through death to present you holy in his sight, without blemish and free from accusation – if you continue in your faith, established and firm, not moved from the hope held out in the gospel.
Colossians 1:22-23

God sees us through our Holy, Saviour, The Lord Jesus Christ. He sees us as whom we are, in and through Christ not as we see ourselves and even as others may see us. He sees our potential not our weaknesses, not our failures. He sees us as He called us, purposed us to be.

Because you see me with no honour, in your eyes. You expect me to be disloyal.

It doesn’t mean a person is without honour or that the person is disloyal, it just means that’s the way someone has chosen to see the person.

Seeing Each Other as God Sees Us.

God sees us and it’s like He looks at that small part that is Him in us and that small piece outweighs everything else. As He sees us He asks that we see others, to love them as He Loved us, seeking the face of God in others. We all fail to see the face of God in others. We all reflect the Glory of God to some level, and we need to seek and help that Glory to be seen and to grow in each and everyone.

It’s important how we see each other and how we encourage each other to give more of Jesus in our lives.